Invitations

There used to be fairly rigid rules of etiquette regarding the style, size, and wording of wedding invitations (also true of the protocol involved in deciding upon the people who were invited). Invitations were usually formal in style and little leeway was afforded. You know, the kind that was printed on heavy paper in raised type and that started out "Mr. and Mrs. Seldon Quincy Muffleton request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter, Desideria Hortense to Mr. Fester Horace Braveheart..."

Today, however, you can pretty much do what you want. Some couples go to a stationer's and make their selection from a number of books showing different styles, formal, semiformal, and informal. Others have them hand-written on fancy paper by a clever friend or relative, or by a professional calligrapher. A few create their own and print them out on their own computers. Whatever you decide, there are many examples on which you can choose to model yours.

Whatever you do, remember to allow plenty of time -- you might want to order them as much as four months before the wedding date. Whoever does them for you, you'll want to make sure you have a written agreement as to price, wording, type and size of paper, typeface, color, etc. -- and the delivery date. After the invitations are ready, you still have to address them and enclose directions if necessary. All of which presupposes you and your beloved have already completed the big job of deciding to whom the invitations will go.

Some general tips:

Whether or not you will include addressed and stamped RSVP notes is up to you. Should you ask Uncle Lentil but not Cousin Tillie? Should your boss and her husband be invited? Are you expected to ask both Zelda and Mimi, who've been feuding for years? Is it kosher to invite your cousin Bubba even though he lives in a Zen monastery in India and you know he can't come? Do you want to include some cleverly worded hint that infants will not be welcomed at the festivities? All these sorts of questions will have to be dealt with, but fortunately, you can rely on some contemporary etiquette books from the library to help you. You'l inevitably come up with a list of people to whom you won't send invitations but to whom you will decide to send carefully worded and designed announcements that the wedding has taken place. (Cousin Bubba would appreciate knowing, and having been acknowledged, perhaps he'll send you a gift.)

View our listing of Printing Companies >