The Rings

What you should look for as you consider buying the engagement ring and wedding bands is a shop whose salespeople are more interested in assisting you than in selling you something. There's a lot of competition out there, but a conscientious jewelry salesperson will know that to provide a customer with reliable and accurate information greatly enhances the likelihood of developing an ongoing satisfied-customer relationship. Part of the function of the a good jewelry dealer is to educate the customer, and nowhere is this more obvious than in the area of diamonds. There are diamonds and there are diamonds, and it is important to know how to assess the quality and cut of the stone you are seeking and what setting will show the stone off to the greatest advantage, as well as how to select the best stone for the amount you have decided to spend. (The word "you" here includes both members of this coming partnership, because today many brides-to-be are in on the selection of that ring they expect to be wearing for the rest of their life.)

By the way, couples don't always choose diamonds; more and more, other gemstones such as sapphires are being used -- and occasionally the groom too will wear an "engagement" ring or a wedding band with a stone (onyx is often chosen). However, the diamond is still the most often selected gem for the woman's engagement ring and/or for her wedding band. Most wedding rings are14K, which is about 60% gold. While 18K gold (about 75%) has a deeper color, it is more easily scratched and bent. Pure gold, of course, is 24K and impractical in jewelry because it is very soft.

You'll probably visit more than one store in your search for the perfect engagement ring and the right wedding band(s). It helps if there is a resident jeweler on staff so that if you need custom work and/or sizing, it will be done in-house. For your information, diamond grading can be categorized with the famous "four C's" -- carat, clarity, color, and cut. A carat is defined as "a unit of weight in gemstones, 200 milligrams (about 3 grains of troy or avoirdupois weight). Another "C," of course, is cost. One couple who proudly showed off the engagement ring they'd chosen confessed that because it had cost almost twice what they'd intended to spend, they were having to "repair the budget" by cutting out some of the frills for the wedding. "We've decided to each have one less attendant, and we've modified the menu for the wedding reception, and we'll have a one-week, rather than a two-week honeymoon," said the groom-to-be. "And," added his new fiancee, "we've decided to try very hard to make good budgets and keep within them when we're married. We don't want to be setting a bad precedent here. But just look at my ring! Isn't it gorgeous?"

A reputable jeweler will welcome your questions and enjoy helping you learn what you need to know about diamond/jewelry selection. Take your time in coming to a decision -- only once in a blue moon, actually, do people fall for the very first possibility presented to them, and even if they do, they should still think hard about it before they write a check.

Diamond Trivia

• It is said that Archduke Maximilian of Austria presented the first engagement ring (a diamond, but of course) in 1477 to his intended, Mary of Burgundy. It didn't look like much, because it was uncut, but as today, it symbolized strength and protection.
   
• In the 1600s the wedding ring was worn on the thumb; however the fourth finger was used during the religious ceremony. It is thought that the fingers were "counted down"- Father, Son, Holy Ghost - so that the ring stood next to the trinity.
   
• There is an Egyptian myth that the "vena amoris" (vein of love) goes from the heart to the fourth finger of the left hand, and that is why traditionally the wedding and engagement rings are worn there.
   
• In 1467, legend has it, the Duke of Burgundy wore a 137-carat Florentine diamond into one of the many armed conflicts that took place in his day. Why is it not surprising that he fell in battle? Possibly the weight of the thing caused him to lose his balance! It has been rumored for centuries that the rock was then found by a commoner who thought it must be glass and sold it for pennies. Somehow the diamond was rediscovered by those ubiquitous powers that be (the rich get richer...), and when a specialist was charged with the task of cutting it, such was his stress that he fainted dead away. Need it be said that no one is sure where this hunk of ice is today?
   
• A certain Western lass in years past, name of Lillian. came into her famous nickname, Diamond Lil, because of a gold front tooth which, in an embarrassment of overkill, was studded with a big diamond.
   
• And then there's Diamond Jim Brady, hardly a modest sort, who used to wear all at the same time a 25-carat diamond ring, a diamond tie pin, and a snazzy cane with a handle gleaming with - you guessed it-more diamonds. When he died the story went around that his diamonds were not of the highest quality. Pity.
   
• The Emperor Jahangir of India's report to his tax guy (yeah, right) one year undoubtedly included these words: "My humble collection of gems too unworthy to call forth the attention of the gods includes only 279,450 carats of lowly diamonds, 931,500 carats of emeralds-alas, they are so green-376,000 carats of wretched rubies, and and 2 million pitiful carats of pearls. My friend, it has not been a good year."
   
• A fabulous gem, set into the eye of an idol in a Brahman temple, was stolen by a French soldier, who sold it, the cad, to a ship captain who promptly tossed the thief overboard (after emptying his pockets, it is presumed). Prince Orloff eventually bought the jewel for $450,000,000 and presented it to Catherine the Great to regain her royal favor. It didn't work because she accepted it but continued to give him the cold shoulder. So much for expensive gifts.
   
• Diamonds were used in trade as early as the fourth century, BC, and it was India that was the major supplier of these gems until the mid-1700s.

View our list of Nantucket Jewelers >